Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
Joker King - find funny jokes from here.
exmoor456 5 year.agoBloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says........"You dirty pig!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband." The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your ass and lick it all off." She says, "You dirty filthy pervert! You're banned. Get out!!" Again, the bloke apologizes and swears never ever to do it again. "One more chance," says the barmaid, "Now - what do you want? "I want to turn you upside down, tear your knickers off and fill your pussy with Guinness, and then drink every last drop from the hairy cup." The barmaid is furious at this personal intrusion, and runs upstairs to fetch her husband, who's sitting quietly watching the telly. "What's up love?" he asks. "There's a bloke in the bar who wants to put his head between my tits and lick the sweat off", she says. "I'll kill him. Where is he?" storms the Husband. "Then he said he wanted to pour yoghurt down between my ass cheeks and lick it off" she screams. "Right. He's dead!" says the husband, reaching for a bat. "Then he said he wanted to turn me upside down, fill my pussy with Guinness and then drink it all" she cries! The husband puts down his bat and returns to his armchair, and switches the telly back on. "Aren't you going to do something about it?" she cries hysterically. "Look love, I'm not messing with any bloke who can drink 15 pints of Guinness..."
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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!
Two black guys are walking down the street and see a sign that says turn white for $75 Black guy one: "Do you think it will work? Black guy two: "Only one way to find out." BG1: "I only have $50" BG2: "Well, I have $100, I'll go do it then give you my change BG1: "Let's do it then" BG2 goes in and fifteen minutes later comes out white as a ghost, wearing a brand new suit and carrying briefcase. BG1: "Holy shit it actually worked! Let me get that $25" BG2: "Fuck you, nigger. Get a job." ___________ xpost:r/sickipedia
A ransom note...
The Indian cashier can provide actual change.
Zero School shootings so far this year!
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
I was bloody and sore at the end. But at least my dad came.
I'd have $2 and a pile of counterfeits.
The reasons the parents are crying.
With a small loan of $1 million from his father
Carlos take the stereo and I'll take lookout
The hardest part is always having to act surprised.
God created Hitler.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge...
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
It can be done with a credit card fairly easily, but I prefer to use a knife
And I thought, "That seems like a reasonable compromise."
The ungrateful bitch spat it out...
He lost wifi connection
With a virus.
My dad didn’t beat cancer
I told her, being funny is the 2nd best way to get a girl into bed. She said "What's the best way?" I said "A big knife" She laughed and said "You're funny" I said "wise choice"
I'll be home in 20 minutes!
Told my mom that my girlfriend is retarded...
It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that. _______ xpost: r/sickipedia
Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.”
A thot process
The other 98% still live in Africa.
Because they can't defend their towers.
But when she killed herself things started to look a lot more positive.
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